Ramblings and representations on life, travel, adventure & misadventure
  Happy Rambling
  • Torres del Paine
    • Torres del Paine Advice
  • Alta Via 1 Dolomites
    • Alta Via 1 Advice
  • Fan Dance 2018
  • Auschwitz
  • Bike Rides
  • Zig Zagging The World
    • South Africa
    • South East Asia
    • Australia
    • New Zealand
    • Japan
    • USA
  • This is England Blog
  • Malmesbury Bridges Walk

Day 1 - Paris to Auxerre, 173k, 809m climb

18/9/2016

0 Comments

 
PictureHome made flapjacks provided by family and friends
​I love France, I really do! Especially the cheese and wine. But those damn Romans and their endless straight roads, not so much! Miles of open agricultural land; nothing to break the monotony, and the rancid smell of rotting cabbage that burns the hairs in your nostrils and makes your eyes bleed.

During the hours it took us to extricate ourselves from grey, I mean gay, Paris, we longed to reach the open roads of the countryside. Then we hit the open roads of the countryside and changed our minds as agoraphobia set in. Our lunch stop, another French village with no sign of life, was pretty enough and provided distraction in the form of a kid's roundabout. There was a momentary outbreak of morale sometime after lunch for no apparent reason and again later when the sun made a brief appearance.

Much testosterone was flying about today - of the 21 riders there are 4 girls - and some very speedy sections were accomplished by the lead pack. I must keep my testosterone in check tomorrow because it transpires I can only keep up with the lead pack until mid afternoon, at which point my thighs magically become lead weights and the energy tanks bleed dry, making for some very horrible lonely miles.  Whilst cycling in no man's land between packs, I tried to motivate myself with the thought that I like time alone with my thoughts. But my thoughts were largely shit and refused to go anywhere beyond rotting cabbages and back pain.

But enough of this maudlin rhetoric, let's discuss the really fun things we loved today ... really, I can't remember the last time I had such fun:
  • watching many Lycra clad men line up at the edge of a field to synchronise pee
  • listening to Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and other such peppy 80s tunes through a very powerful speaker. Oh yes, my own personal nirvana. Though Greg was very obliging when yelled at to 'turn that shit off' (sorry Greg, you found my limit)
  • saddle sore; my vagina is no longer talking to me. OK so my vagina has never spoken to me but if it had, it's not now
  • riding someone's slipstream as they speed through a puddle
  • riding someone's slipstream and getting a small quarry's worth of grit sprayed in your face
  • Fadi

​Now, as we enjoy the salubrious delights of Hotel F1 - no really, you should try it - Joan, the masseur, is being relentlessly overworked and the ibuprofen are being abused. And that was the easy day. Unfortunately I think I'll survive the night, ready to do it all again tomorrow. I'm thrilled.

Picture
Starting Line - The Eiffel Tower
Picture
Picture
Caution cycle event - these men have cats to herd
Picture
Ian, Mike and Toby, our fabulous outriders and providers of moral support
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    November 2016
    September 2016
    December 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    Adventures With Dad
    Bliss Baby Bikers
    Challenge
    Charity Bike Ride
    Cirencester
    Cycling
    Malmesbury
    Paris
    Walking

    RSS Feed